An Open Letter to the Makers of Shamwow.
January 13, 2010 – 8:55 amI had a $20 rebate card to Pep Boys so I went to see what I could get. Not much really. I was hoping for a Leatherman or a Mag-Light, but no such luck. I finally settled on a $19.99 box of Shamwow. Is it as good as they say? In a word: no. I tried to use it. I’ve given it over a week of usage to try and find away to make it work like they advertised. No such luck, it’s just a crappy product. By the way, I think its the same material as the Snuggie. So basically Shamwow is just an unassembled Snuggie. I never write letters to companies, but today I did. You can too! Send your complaints to: ronny@squareoneent.com
Here is the email I sent them.
“Dear Scheisters,
I bought your Shamwow product from my friendly neighborhood Pep Boys and was excited to try it out on the very next spill or mess that need cleaning. I, like millions of other Americans, was captivated by your talented pitchman and could not believe that a product like yours existed. It seemed too good to be true! Well I guess it was.
Your product is terrible. Awful. Less than useless. Not only does in fail at soaking up messes, it actually spreads the mess around! I tried dabbing it dry, dabbing it wet, pressing hard, you name it. The damn cloths refuse to pick up water! And when I did manage to get it wet (usually by running the tap over it) it refused to dry when rung out. It was always slightly damp. It also lost its shape almost immediately. It’s not a replacement for paper towels, it doesn’t even do what a paper towel can do!
So yes, I’m dissatisfied. Congratulations, you got my $20. You can keep it as I don’t want to do any more business with your bullshit company. Next time make a product that works. Shamwow? More like Scamwow.
By the way, nice spokesman you got there. When I heard that he was arrested for beating a whore I was not in the fucking least surprised. You guys are a class act all the way.
Sincerely,
Ben Jarvis”
3 Responses to “An Open Letter to the Makers of Shamwow.”
Well, to be fair, the whore was biting his tongue and wouldn’t let go.
You describe the labors you undertook to get the ScamWow to pick up your liquid messes — dabbing and pressing and such. Did you toss it over the drenched carpet and give it a light bop with your fist? That works wonders for Vince Shlomi.
By RCoA on Jan 13, 2010
This is true. But it’s also one-upped by the fact that he was with her in the first place. :) I did try pounding it, lightly and hard. No dice. But the bigger picture is that I shouldn’t have to take a class to mop up some spilt ol’ English. LOL.
By Ben on Jan 13, 2010